I then spent the next 20 minutes trying to out-do her face, and this was the best I could come up with, pathetic attempt, I know.
Well we met up with Rosie upon arrival at King's Cross station and went back to her apartment. The 3 Muskateers reunited at last. We got ready and set up a lovely game of "Eff the Dealer" and "Circle of Death". We did not really pay any attention to the rules, just a fun way to make each other look ridiculous while drinking.
We semi-lost track of time so we had to hurry to the train station to make it across town to PUNK before they stopped letting people in. So there were 3 girls decked out in dresses and high heels gallivanting through the train station trying to navigate. We finally arrived and got there just in time!
Upon arrival, we found Stu and the bottle of vodka for our table. It was great from there on out. We spent the rest of the night wandering around this club dancing, laughing, and meeting new people. While Hannah was ordering a drink at the bar I discovered this gathering on the stage. I stood in front of the stage looking up in awe at the free-flowing champagne, dancing, and celebrating, we needed to get up there. Luckily, the birthday boy agreed. Rosie, Hannah, and I got invited to come up and join this guy's birthday party! It was so much fun! We were dancing fools!
By this point in the evening, Hannah and I had to switch shoes. In the middle of the club, I unbuckled my shoes to give to Hannah since she needed the extra surface area on her heels. That night, she reminded me of the Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz on roller skates. Her balance was basically, non-existent which provided her with multiple dancing opportunities/people to hold on to. It was hilarious.
Well naturally, we shut the club down and our Footloose night had to come to an end. Hannah's and mine feet were killing us, so we ditched our shoes while trying to hail a taxi to get us home. I the proceeded to sing an off-key rendition of "Barefoot in London" to the tune of "Walking in Memphis." I don't think anyone really appreciated this gesture.
There were only bike carriages at this point in the night so we each took turns going from biker to biker asking the price to take us home. It was my turn, and I approached the carriage
Me: "How much would it be to 3 of us to Windsor?"
Biker: "30 pounds"
And we did NOT have that much money on us so that wasn't going to work.
As I turned around, there was this guy just standing there. Out of nowhere, He asked:
Puddle Kicker: "Are you American?"
Me: "Umm...yes."
He then thought that the appropriate action to this response would be to kick a giant puddle of water in my direction and then walk off without a single word. I was completely caught off guard. It literally looked like I had taken a shower with my clothes on. Sadly, due to the craziness of the entire situation, the best comeback my friends could come up with was to yell: "YOU'RE DUMB!" at the Puddle Kicker as he strolled away. Thanks guys.
We were about to just give up on the biker taxis and walk when (most likely out of pity) some guy goes "I can take you for 15 pounds."
That was our guy! We all hopped in the carriage and he began to pedal away from the club. I found a blanket on the bench that I wanted to cover up with due to the fact that I looked like a wet dog and was freezing, however Hannah was sitting on it.
Me: "Hey Hannah, stand up just a bit, the blanket is underneath you."
Hannah: "I can't."
Me: "Don't be silly, yes you can!"
(I then proceed to yank the blanket out from under her. Woops)
Under normal circumstances I'm sure that this would not have been that big of a deal. However, Hannah's center of gravity was a bit off this evening and she proceeded to tumble out of the carriage. I felt so badly! But, she would be proud to say that she did not spill her purse!!
Well during our little trip home, we made small talk with the biker. He was a very nice guy 22, from Turkey. As we were riding along we all pitched in our 5 pounds to pay him at the end. However, came to the realization that we had no money left to tip him with. Sometime after this observation, Rosie established that he was now going to be my boyfriend and that I would be in charge of "tipping" him at the end of the ride. I just laughed, my nervous laugh, because there was no way that was happening.
Rosie: "So, where are you from?"Turkish Boyfriend: "I'm from Turkey"
Me: "Oh, that's too bad, I prefer Ham."
He didn't get it...total let down.
________________________________________________________
Well we arrived at Rosie's apartment, and we all hopped off and start walking toward the gate.
Turkish Boyfriend: "Don't I get my kiss?"
FML. Me being a team player, the only single one out of the three of us, and being forced against my will, walked up to my "boyfriend" and puckered my lips and go in for a nice innocent peck. He had something entirely different planned, however. He leaned in and KISSED me, big time. I pulled away..."Uhh...Okay, so are we good now?" He proceeded to grab my neck and pull me in for yet another big ol' kiss. (I brushed my teeth for a solid 5 minutes that night.)
By this point, Hannah and Rosie were basically rolling on the ground laughing, offering no sense of support or concern for my dignity or safety.
I walked away with a look of complete shock. That is the last time we don't leave money for a tip, that is a solemn vow.
Berlin this weekend!
cheers.
Jane
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